I’ve spent the day cold and in a minor sad funk.
I can’t explain the sadness. The cold is due to my shower having luke warm water and hardly any water pressure, plus the lovely cold draft that my room leaks into my water-closet. Seriously, that’s what I’m calling that bathroom. It is nothing more than a closet for things that use/spit water. Undrinkable water at that (so sayeth the sticker above my sink).
The draft is from who knows where, but it keeps my feet FRIGID all day long.
The sad funk I’m blaming on too much remembering of things past. Oh I’ll start in on Shakespeare. . give me a sec. Sonnet XXX end couplet:
But if the while I think on thee, dear friend
All losses are restored and sorrows end.
Alright that’s not quite right in describing my feelings. It’s just something I had to analyse senior year of high school and I never forgot it.
I think part of my sadness comes from reading about Grant’s grandmother on his dad’s blog and remembering Mrs. Brack and her battle with Breast cancer. Nasty. Evil. Grrrrrr (not her, the cancer). She wrote a book about her initial battling with it in the 80’s. I remember reading it after she died in January of 1995 (I was in 8th Grade). I think everyone should read this book. The worst part is knowing the cancer wins in the end. To know that through all these ups and downs, a few years later the cancer wins.
I remember going to GBMC and bringing her a gift with my mom. Her sister (or a close friend) was there visiting as well. I remember seeing her with no hair, and she had this amazing story about how she woke up one day and most of it had fallen out in a halo around her head. She had this glowing smile even though you could tell she was in pain. She always had that smile. I gave her a chime of white doves with blue designs on them (Our middle school colours were blue and white, but the high school she went too had the dove as a mascot. I was going to attend there the coming year, but didn’t know it yet). She saw the gift and told me it was the most wonderful thing she’d seen. She called me over to hear and gave me a hug, a kiss on the cheek and told me that she loved me. I nearly cried right there. I told her I loved her too and that I was glad she liked the gift. We left and I just started crying. I knew I would never see her again. I knew that was the end and all I could think was how much it hurt to lose someone who had never judged me at that middle school. The only person who actually liked me for me.
Sidetrack: One of the best parts was that for once, my mom understood me, and understood what I was going through. We both adored Mrs. Brack. My mom told me how hard it must have been for me, and she was proud of me for having gone to see her. I got to say goodbye. It was one of the most important events of my life.
I remember she borrowed my LTR (Long Term Report) in 5th grade on cats because she wanted to read more about cats and learn something new. I thought this was just so special. She took a personal interest in her students and made them feel like they were part of a family. If you stepped out of line, Mrs. Brack was going to put you RIGHT BACK IN LINE. If you needed someone to confide in, you better believe she was right there to listen to you. The best part was if she saw some talent in you, she would find ways to get you to show it. It was amazing how well she worked with everyone.
One of my favourite memories of her during 8th grade was when she started losing her hair due to the chemotherapy. She would wear these amazing scarves and each one had a story. She would share them with us during Roll Call (the whole middle school got together in one large room and we had a “current events and announcements” time before homeroom).
My dad has minor skin cancer, we have friends with other forms of cancer, HIV, AIDS, life threatening illnesses. To face these evils and to face what can come from them is one of the hardest battles we face.